I feel so blessed to bring through messages and moments that heal. I have had many clients express to me that the readings we have done together have brought them peace, closure and/or relief. While the topic of suicide may seem negative and often considered taboo, I know that whatever is brought forth through Spirit is meant for the client’s highest healing.
Having suffered through the suicide of a loved one myself, I feel that Spirit brings certain clients to me because I understand the many emotions associated with this type of death. When I started doing readings (in the summer of 2016), I feared that my own experience with suicide might cloud my judgment or ability to bring through such messages. Instead, these readings provided a level of relief, empathy and insight that allowed me to heal myself and other survivors of suicide.
On this day my client arrived quite anxious, so I offered her some water and gave her some time to catch her breath. I explained my process and put her at ease. After a few moments I asked if she was ready to begin - which she was - so we commenced the session.
I began the reading by letting her know who was already present, including a younger man with spiked hair and a very strong energy. As is the case in my readings, I do not choose who speaks first, those in Spirit do. The young man wanted to communicate first.
In an animated way, he started pointing his finger this way and that. He didn’t seem to be singling out or blaming anyone, but in a playful “you, you and you” kind of way. It was a bit amusing in fact.
“Ha!” exclaimed my client. “He would always do that! He would get up in the middle of a bar or restaurant and start tapping his foot and pointing his finger… his way of dancing and getting attention!” We both laughed and I continued by asking this man to show me how he died. In a clairvoyant image I saw his suicide by hanging. I let my client know this and that although this man was not presenting himself as family I felt strongly that he was.
“It’s my half-brother. He didn’t feel like he was part of the family, he always felt like an outcast” my client confirmed. I told her that he was bringing my attention to his spiked hair, which made her laugh.
“Yup, he always spiked his hair up with gel” she said. I then received many messages regarding his suicide, how he felt when he did it and how he felt about it now. Most of all he conveyed his apologies to his half-sister whom he knew it affected deeply. Tears began to stream from client’s eyes and then from my own.
“Your brother was a good person but he was misunderstood, this prompted him to use substances” I said. “He feels like someone who may have been empathic or sensitive, not unlike myself. These feelings overwhelmed him and made him self-medicate. He was a heavy drug user. He couldn’t see a way that he could manage these feelings.” My client listened as I continued, nodding her head in acknowledgement and understanding.
“There is a grandmother that he feels especially distant from. Your brother gives me the sense that he forgives her for something that she did.”
“That is true, he was my half-brother on my Dad’s side. Our Dad’s mom, our Grandma, never accepted him,” my client confirmed. “He hopes to reconcile this relationship on the other side, when your Grandma has learned her human lapse in judgment” I said, conveying her brother’s sentiments.
At this moment, I saw a woman standing beside my client. It was my client’s mother who was coming through. “You have a mother on the other side,” I said.
“Yes. I was hoping she would come through today” my client replied. As the presence of my client’s mother (who had also committed suicide) took over the reading, I knew I would never forget this young man. As he and I exchanged silent gratitude and said our goodbyes, he let me know that he was making preparations for all of his loved ones when it was their turn to cross over.